Thursday, January 14, 2010

Pain

It aint no fun being a girl with no shield around you. I realized this sad truth and let this painful vulnerability hide under the various layers that I drew upon myself over the years. At every moment if there was anything that I guarded the most, it was my strength. I couldn’t let it waver—that inner strength that I was introduced to, in me, three years ago in the most tumultuous phase of my life till then. I had never seen myself through those eyes till then. And when I finally did, I realized what I am really worth. And who I wanted to be worthy of.

And here I am now. How am I feeling? Wretched, unhappy, disillusioned, humiliated, uncared for, unloved, taken for granted, miserable, useless, wasted, hopeless, shattered, worn out, crushed, devastated, depressed, pathetic, suicidal, disillusioned, mutilated, murdered…

Do I want to avenge the pain? No. I just want it to pass.

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